I regret to inform you that
the website is down
prod is down
everything is on fire.
This is our ____ incident this month. Our code is unmaintainable because it's
a giant monolith
and it runs on one
Worst of all, our database is
not backed up, so we lost our data
backed up, but the backups don't work, so we lost our data
sharded, so we lost our data twice
NoSQL, so we're webscale, and we've been losing data for years.
We only deploy once every few
and it's always a disaster because we have no
Also, our servers
are exposed publicly
not up to date on security patches
all use a single SSH key
store passwords in plaintext,
so it's just a matter of time until ___________________.
We need to
manage infrastructure as code
automate all the things
secure all the things,
but we never seem to have time for this grunt work because _______________________.